25-year-old allergic brother fosters a kitten he can't be around, dumps responsibility on his 18-year-old sister: 'Well, it's been 3 months now and the cat is still here'

Author image for Ayala Sorotsky
Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Dec 19, 2025 3:00 PM EST

There's nothing we appreciate more than people giving love and care for a floofy feline in need - and definitely one that needs fostering since there's no adoption to take place in sight yet. Fostering a cat is a blessing - because it's giving a cat the roof, food, and warmth they need until they have a forever home. It's giving them all that instead of them spending time in a shelter or on the streets.

With that being said, we understand not everyone can offer their homes as fosters. Maybe one person is having some financial trouble and can't care for another right now. Maybe you're renting a place that doesn't allow cats on the property. And maybe you're allergic. Especially when you're allergic - because these are life circumstances that you (most likely) can't change. And yes, we understand you might like cats, but for you to foster them, you need to… You know, be there, and foster them. And that's a thing that one 25-year-old older brother had trouble understanding, apparently.

That's when his 18-year-old sister comes in - she's the one who actually fosters her brother's kitten. But he? He's too allergic. He runs out of the house to his girlfriend's place, yet the couple still calls the cat their "baby". Look, we understand the kitten needs a home, but isn't it fairer if she gets what she needs from someone who can actually give it to her?

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  • 01
    'I don't want to take care of this cat anymore'
    via Cats Coming from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    im carrying this over because it's really frustrating me and i need to get it out my (25M) brother is allergic to cats.
    via ethanluvr

  • That may be the most important part of all of this - the brother is allergic. He's allergic! Look, we love it when people feel compassion towards feral kittens and want to save them - but if you can't because you're allergic, it's not your fault. And by extension, it's also not your responsibility to do so while risking your health - or ending up dumping the foster responsibility onto other people. Something this brother didn't seem to understand, apparently…

  • 03
    so is my mother, and even me i've discovered. we've never had cats growing up until i was 13 and got one as an ESA when covid started.
    via ethanluvr
  • 04
    me and my brother have a 6 year age gap, so he was already in college at that point, yet he would still complain about the cat bothering his allergies whenever he came to visit.
    via ethanluvr
  • 05
    for the past couple years my brother has been dating a girl and they are completely in love, but also totally blinded by it.
    via ethanluvr
  • 06
    they are both in suffering financial situations due to college and just the state of the world right now.
    via ethanluvr
  • 07
    my brother is 25 and still paying for everything with my moms money and living in her house, yet all him and his gf talk about is getting married and having kids as if they're about to do it all next week.
    via ethanluvr
  • 08
    this is relevant because a couple months ago they found a bunch of stray kittens outside of my brother's gf's mom's house.
    via ethanluvr
  • 09
    they weren't newborns but still extremely young, and i guess they got really attached to one.
    via ethanluvr
  • 10
    despite my dad saying he didn't want anymore pets in the house (we have two dogs also) my brother volunteered to keep the cat in our house "until they get an apartment".
    via ethanluvr
  • 11
    well it's been 3 months now and the cat is still here. i know it can take awhile to get an apartment settled, and i love cats, obviously, i have one.
    via ethanluvr
  • 12
    but my problem is with my brother more than the cat. he is extremely allergic. every morning he spends here, he is throwing up and if not that he spends all night coughing from his allergy.
    via ethanluvr
  • 13
    because of that, since he's brought the cat to our house he spends 75% more of his time at his girlfriends place, blatantly expecting ME to take care of the cat.
    via ethanluvr
  • 14
    him and my mom got into a fight once at the beginning and he asked me to take care of her when she kicked him out.
    via ethanluvr
  • 15
    i said yes, and now he assumes i will be her nanny for life. he leaves without saying goodbye and texts me later telling me to feed her and fill her water bowl and play with her.
    via ethanluvr
  • 16
    he and his girlfriend watch her in his room from cameras he installed in the corners.
    via ethanluvr
  • 17
    they treat and talk about this cat like she's a literal human child, always referring to her as "the baby" and buying her luxuries she doesn't need nor can they afford.
    via ethanluvr
  • 18
    not to mention the cat has clearly been on the streets for too long. she is still feral, she rips up and destroys everything she can, constantly, all day every moment she's awake.
    via ethanluvr
  • 19
    she torments my adult ESA cat who already dislikes her since my brother has taken all of her toys to give to his cat without asking me.
    via ethanluvr
  • 20
    i don't want to take care of this cat anymore. i like cats but i started to really get tired of it the other day when my left eye (already sensitive from a disability i have) started itching and closing up to the point i couldn't see out of it, and my brother was nowhere to be found.
    via ethanluvr
  • 21
    he doesn't answer calls or texts either unless he's the one sending them, and he doesn't have a job so i really don't know a good reason other than he knows he's bit off more than he can chew and he's just trying to ignore it.
    via ethanluvr
  • 22
    i am finishing highschool and just got accepted to my dream art school. i have a lot on my plate right now and it seems like everyone is expecting the top of my list to be taking care of this cat that isn't mine and just showed up one day.
    via ethanluvr
  • 23
    i feel bad for her, i don't support letting cats wander out on their own especially since we live around so many coyotes but i feel like even then she'd be a lot happier.
    via ethanluvr
  • 24
    am i overreacting? i'm 18 but also the youngest in my whole family. my opinion gets overlooked a lot, even if my parents don't really like the cat either.
    via ethanluvr
  • 25
    Edit: a previous commenter for some reason was upset about me referring to my cat as an ESA.
    via ethanluvr
  • 26
    i want to clarify that my reasoning for referring to her that way here is to explain the reason we have her despite some of us being allergic, and also my family is a dog family.
    via ethanluvr
  • 27
    we have pets for all of us but got the cat just for me for emotional support when i was diagnosed with MDD as a 13 year old.
    via ethanluvr
  • 28
    she is being used for emotional support, not a service animal i take out places and 'force' to stay by my side.
    via ethanluvr
  • 29
    she is my best friend, i don't appreciate the assumption that i abuse my cat just because i referred to her as an ESA twice.
    via ethanluvr
  • 30
    millennialfail NOR. You should be taking that cat to a shelter. I am mystified why you'd choose a cat for an ESA when allergic and when you already have dogs, but allergy or no, someone has dumped a pet on you and is not caring for that pet. In your absence that pet would probably be neglected or mistreated. Chances are he only keeps it because his gf likes it. He likes the idea of it, not the reality. He won't just randomly start caring for it now, because he knows he has you to be his maid.
    via millennialfail
  • 31
    Re: the edit, the term ESA unfortunately has been used too often by entitled people who don't understand the difference between "my pet makes me feel happy and I want to take them everywhere I go" and people with actual trained service animals who need them to function and for safety. ESA just has negative connotations because of this. I
    via millennialfail
  • 32
    don't doubt that animals can provide much-needed emotional support (my shrink brings her dog to sessions), but a lot of people whose major issue seems to be main character syndrome will jump up and down screaming that their totally untrained and poorly behaved animal has as much right to be at a wedding as
    via millennialfail
  • 33
    OP ethanluvr hi, i appreciate your reply! i was never known to be allergic to cats like my mom and brother were until my brother brought this specific cat home. she sheds a thousand times more than my own cat and just generally leaves her mark on everything a lot heavier. i knew id OCCASIONALLY have a runny nose when around other people's cats in the past, but this kind of thing the other day where my eye swelled up was something completely new on a scale that had never happened to me before.
    via ethanluvr
  • 34
    my cat was chosen as my ESA because we got my dogs when i was about 8, and they are the family's pets. my cat was brought home for the purpose of being my support at 13 in a newly covid-ified world, which i am still facing thousands of repercussions from and definitely wouldn't have survived without
    via ethanluvr
  • 35
    her. she stays upstairs in the loft and my room (my spaces) at all times upon her own free will. she knows im her person and everyone loves her when she comes out to say hi, even my brother. + i never bring her in public aside from appointments and never planned to upon getting her. we were in lockdown anyway.
    via ethanluvr
  • 36
    KatzRLife Talk to your parents and suggest that they give your brother a deadline: "Get the cat out of the house by (insert time) on (insert date). Otherwise we'll be forced to leave the cat at a shelter so someone who wants them can adopt them."
    via KatzRLife

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family drama cat allergic allergies brother siblings foster kitten family feud family feral sister Cats
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